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Wild and Wishful Shopping - Part 4

Bedroom Eyes - in more ways than one...

The downstairs bedroom is the only room that looked remotely normal (still not a normal layout). It's like someone transplanted this room from a totally different house. You know that if I was designing it for my goofy child it couldn't stay this way so here's a weird peek inside my head for what makes for a fun kid's room:

I think someone called it "terrifying" but I really don't see it. Is it the eyes on the bed? I kind of think they're funny. I guess this kind of comme des garcons motif feels like a friendly monster a la Sesame Street and not a scary monster a la Nightmare Before Christmas. I just hate a neutral kids room - you wear neutrals as an adult and decorate in neutrals because it makes life easy and you have bigger problems and people will judge you. When you're a kid? WHO CARES! Have an orange and teal ribbon rug! Have marble paper inserts on your console and block stripes on your wardrobe and busy wallpaper and tassel curtains and poufs. There's a child in me who wishes she lived in the giant baby's room in Spirited Away.

For the downstairs bathroom I think it needs to be fun because it's the girl's en suite but also the one guests use downstairs so needs a little help.

It's dark, it's weird, and there's a bunch of weird cabinets on the other side of the mirror wall that don't need to exist so I think we eat that and incorporate it into the bathroom.

I love the mixed marble that we've been doing in other areas, so mixed color harlequin feels like a great floor tile in here and then a nice creamy Gascogne on the walls to keep it from being too terribly busy in a small space. But then again... I love busy. Look at these wild lacquered blue discs all over this cabinet!! In love! and why would I ever be done with a design without a scallop? Look at the light fixture, look at the non-trim trim painted around the door. Yes. I'm in.

The last area to cover is the really weird master bedroom & bathroom (the utility room and master closet are also upstairs in super inconvenient news but I'm going to skip them).

The room is... not private. Nor is it rational in any part of its design. Just kind of holistically weird. It would be such a cool playroom! Or a loft for a teenager whose boyfriend is over! However, since this has a walk in closet, the biggest bathroom, two sinks and the utility room I think we have to conclude this is supposed to be the master.

The windows are SO cool though. But why do we have a weird brown wall?

I think we need to add breezeblocks or something to at least part of this to give us some privacy. Then I felt like - lean in to the weird energy of this house. Crushed orange velvet, chain link nightstands, weird organic burgundy lamps for a warm glow and then wallpaper our weird brown wall. Look at this porter teleo wallpaper! Just obsessed. And some contrast green zebra chairs and some weird gem shapes in our dresser and our rug. Also I would rather jump off this balcony than let there be a fan here.

Guys. Why do we do this to our showers? WHO CO-SIGNED THIS??? It is DARK. It is a weird wet closet. As Ms. Rachel says - No! Stop! I don't like that! I want to hulk smash that dumb wall that prevents the (lightless?) shower from getting any light. Also what is happening with this hot tub turned bath tub with a cool triangle mirror. Not super necessary but not the worst. Knotty cedar here isn't doing a ton for me, mostly because I have to climb stairs (?) to get in and out of this mechanism.

So let's just gut it and have a good time - make a shower in the tub, give it a cool tub (Can I afford a brass tub? No. Will I ever be able to? Probably not unless I start charging you all a LOT more money) and make a fun tiled alcove! Then marble floor in mixed marble. Add some pink! Add a vintage fixture! Let the light shine into this wacky place!

And that's what I got for you. Go buy this house and let me do something weird to it?

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